mindless thoughts

dear exs, we dont talk and its probably best to only vent about you online in a place where you are more than likely never going to stumble across. here is my advice to all of you on what i believe you should change from our relationship in order for you to have a stable one now/in the future. bryan, you moved way too uncomfortably fast. sure, it was my first relationship but even now guys should never move that fast. give a girl some space/time to breathe. also, your cute gestures that early in a relationship could be taken as being creepy. bryce, if youre going to date a girl, at least speak to her when you see her in public. chris, where do i even begin. dont blame the girl for you wanting to change. there is nothing wrong with a person wanting to redevelop themselves. dont burn your arms in her driveway or go into raging meltdowns. girls dont know what to do when guys are unstable. please dont be so controling. let her have friends and go out and have fun. i know what its like to be jealous, but really whats the point? stop being vengeful and get over the pety bullshit. talk through your problems and dont bottle them all up inside. brandon, stop lying. stop trying to be someone youre not, and if you are that guy then stop pretending like youre this good guy. dont mess with girls minds and break other hearts along the way, its not fair for anyone. you were such a good kid, ask yourself what happened.jerry, stop doing drugs. stop and look around you. where could you be and where are you now? dont ruin something good just because you think it wont work out. nick, never propose to a girl with your best friend on his knee next to you. do not be so lazy. get a job.maintain said job. treat her special. stop begging and expecting and start doing and receiving. realize that parents arent always right and stay under their wing forever its not healthy. youre welcome, amanda

dear stranger, if i was to describe to you in one word how i feel about my life at this exact moment id chose the word comfortable. im comfortable with my two jobs and the hours im working (even though i hope for more soon), im comfortable living at home with my mom, im comfortable with my close knit group of friends, im comfortable with my sexy, intelligent minded boyfriend, and im comfortable with how i look both on the outside and inside. to you i may seem ordinary or i may seem rather odd, but to me im content with who i have become. it may be cliche to say that life is an endless journey to discovery but it truely is. finally, i feel as if i have turned down the correct path. however, im still curious where my destination will be. thanks for listening, amanda

dear dreams, to those of you who i forget, thank you for staying out of my waking hours. to those of you whom i remember, stop being so difficult to interpret. i feel as if you are all the most random ideas conjumbled into one story. why do you have to have some of the most random people and places ever inside of you? seeing dead people is not my idea of dreamy. and even more so, i do not want to see friends cheating on friends with asain girls. oh and one last thing, STOP IT with the car wreck dreams, and the whinding roads to no where. am i supposed to be finding my path or something? yours truly, mcdreamy

dear phil and morgan,

as far as siblings go, ya ain’t bad. as children we all may have gotten overly sick of one another but when we wanted to, we could all play nicely. over the years we drifted apart and i never really could have much of a conversation with either of you, especially you phil. but now that we are all older, i feel as if we are closer than ever. we all look out for one another and are each others cheerleaders. i want to see you both succeed in whatever it is that you want to do. and hopefully you will stand on my side throughout my career. as the years pass, i hope that we can maintain a connection that doesn’t resemeble moms. i want our children to be friends and go on family vacations to fun places like we had as children. i love both of you so much. your little sister, manda

dear marcy and tully, there really is no marcy and tully, and im totally okay with that. mom, you have always been there for me with little to no judgement from the past. you have fed me, clothed me, and given me shelter whenever has been neccessary. no matter how many times i thought i had it all figured out and left, you always opened the door back up for me and let me in. you have given me the best advice, whether or not i initially listened to it or not… i thank you. i love you! dad, you havent always been there for me. you fed me free lunches at ryans, bought me cheap work clothes when needed, and let me hide away in the small room in your house. you let me in your home with open arms just to smile and wave as i left the devils den. we never really had the time to talk one on one. i guess work is more important. thanks for teaching me who i dont want to be. but your my dad… i love you!

dear justin, to me, you are far beyond perfection. last night our “i love you”s finally swept off our lips and into each others ears, minds, and hearts. five long months i waited for you. for a second i forgot how to speak and just stared at you. you stared back and a single tear hit my cheek which is when i realized that i needed/wanted to say it back. i have never felt about anyone the way that i feel about you. envious yet proud. youre the epitome of a chivalry. everyday you teach me something new and there is never a dull moment. i can not wait to spend the rest of my life with you if youll have me. i will never stop you from attaining something bigger than this. i love you. your little weirdo

only because i didnt follow through with this challenge last time, im making it a nightly ritual.

dear sash, you are my truest friend, basically my sister. as outrageously overwhelming as you may be on a daily basis, ill always love you as family. the chapters inside really outway what was written on the back of your book. youre more profound and amiable than anyone gives you credit for. thank you for letting me in. (thats what she said.) despite the fact that we argue (thats just what sisters do.), i am happy that we both have valid opinions and dont get wrapped up in pety bullshit anymore. its nice to just be blithe. lylasdnq. <3

ps lets go get dem deer tats

30 day letter challenge thanks to my lady jamie.

day 1 — your best friend
day 2 — your crush
day 3 — your parents
day 4 — your sibling (or closest relative)
day 5 — your dreams
day 6 — a stranger
day 7 — your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
day 8 — your favorite internet friend
day 9 — someone you wish you could meet
day 10 — someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
day 11 — a deceased person you wish you could talk to
day 12 — the person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
day 13 — someone you wish could forgive you
day 14 — someone you’ve drifted away from
day 15 — the person you miss the most
day 16 — someone that’s not in your state/country
day 17 — someone from your childhood
day 18 — the person that you wish you could be
day 19 — someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
day 20 — the one that broke your heart the hardest
day 21 — someone you judged by their first impression
day 22 — someone you want to give a second chance to
day 23 — the last person you kissed
day 24 — the person that gave you your favorite memory
day 25 — the person you know that is going through the worst of times
day 26 — the last person you made a pinky promise to
day 27 — the friendliest person you knew for only one day
day 28 — someone that changed your life
day 29 — the person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
day 30 — your reflection in the mirror